Empress

Of course I love walking around Africa and being hailed as Empress, Princess and Goddess. It does wonders for the self esteem and of course I felt at home amoungst those words, who wouldn't? I was on my own in Ghana and subject to the nuances of the people and that was fine, and I totally get that one of the characteristics of these countrymen is that once they take a shine to you, you almost have to prize yourself away. Speaking of a person I had a drink with the previous night my new friend Rasta said: "Once he sees you with me he will leave you alone." -Yea, thanks Rasta.

The nuances of Language

I love the fact that language is pragmatic. That I can say “gosh, is the window open?” and the person would know that I’m cold and offer to close it.  Or the fact that when you want to end a conversation, especially with a stranger- you can say, “Nice talking to you, see you around,” and we both know to say our goodbyes.  

Sometimes I think it’s the people who read a lot are the ones who understand the nuances of language. Or maybe just those with common sense. Or perhaps it’s the fact that we have been raised in the stiff upper lip culture of not saying what we really mean that makes us so adept at distorting and playing around with meaning.

Touch Down- Ghana 2012

Wednesday 28th March 2012

Following a great first visit in 2010, I decided I was coming back to Ghana! That was six weeks ago. Now, here I am at the airport, wheelie sack and mini sack in tow. The path ahead is lined with Ghanaians holding up signs with various names: John, Emily, Mr Watson... I look for my name- or the name of the Guest House that said they would collect me. It's air conditioned in here, so all is well so far. I squint my eyes and look across the row of names. No ‘Martha.’ No ‘Big Millie’s Back Yard.’ I open my eyes wider, still No Martha on a paper sign being held up by smiling hands. Nothing

OK, plan B-Bun Big frigging Millie. I would go to the place I originally planned to stay. Yes. That’s what I would do. I move towards the exit but before I get to the doors I’m approached by big blue trousers and a white shirt.

Do you need a cab? I look at him. It looks like a uniform. He has an ID tag hanging round his neck.

-Yes I tell him, I do.

OK, let me help you. I let him take the heavier ruck sack and am left with the smaller one and my handbag which is  across my body.

-Do you know Aplaku Guest House?
 No, you have the address?

-Err. No. The internet. I’ll go get it from the internet.

Pain and Struggle

Alas, I still have a day job. And it is what I will do until that blessed day when writing can pay my bills.

So there I was in my day job, just yesterday. In a secondary school in London supporting students with their Literacy and Personal development.
 For this particular session a rap artist was invited in as part of a music project. I forget his name, but he really was rather good! Said he recognised me from Battersea, as he was raised there, as was I. So there he was doing his conscious rap thing and the students were indeed inspired and engaged.

As one door closes, the fridge door opens

It really didn't dawn on me- the real reason my figure has remained as is for the last twenty years. I thought it was just my good fortune that while all about me were starting to look their age, I have stayed slim, quite slim and extremely slim!
A lady I used to teach some ten years ago was in my house the other day- after us bumping into each other after almost four years. "I've never forgotten you," she said. I smile. Nor I her. She was part of my best teaching group ever. After her class, teaching just went down hill for me. I have never forgotten any one of that class and am glad to say I am still in touch with a few of them.
        "I wondered what you look like now," she continued. "If you'd put on wieght."
        "Oh no," I say. "This is me." And I admire myself in a way I only do when my clothes are on.

The Lawrences

All I can do is send love and light to the family of Stephen Lawrence. I am  overwhelmed with compassion when I see them  speaking on TV.  Especially with  Mr  Lawrence. He is so softly spoken. He's so composed  and hurt and humble.

I received an email that said 96 boys have been murdered since Steven. I hope it isn't true. Then imagine another eighteen years of fighting for justice on top of that.  It's a long time. I have a child of  seventeen.  There's a generation of boys who have been raised with a backdrop of Steven Lawrence conversations. We would tell our sons, "be careful," while  warning that there'd be noone to pay if they weren't.

A day without roll-ups

Today has been the first time in a long time I have deliberately not brought tobacco!! A whole complete day! I did have a few yearnings and must say I was on the brink of going to the shop, especially when my friend was going on about something to smoke. On the verge I was! Then I thought, "no, that's your craving not mine. Am gonna stay with myself and see what I come up with." And that's what I did. 2nd January and no Amber Leaf roll ups! Who woulda thought!

I'd love to see what my skin would look like with no tobacco. I would love to see how far I could run, how far I could swim! And if the world is coming to an end and there's gonna be all this mad apocalypse stuff, a girl needs lung capacity.  I'm not saying I've stopped, as I haven't. But I'm most certainly going to cut down and begin with more of a balance between tobacco days , and non tobacco days like I used to. The days when I didn't have to be sucking on cigarette paper in order to get through the day.  Well I'm going to see if I can revert to some of that!! Just to see what it feels like.