my ORIGIN

Yesterday evening I took my son to a group called ORIGIN; A Rites of Passage Program for young men of African decent. We waded through the rush hour traffic on train and tube and at 6.50 we entered a building right at the end of Willington Road. He didn't want to go, my son. He would rather spend his evenings moving from kitchen to lounge to kitchen to bedroom. From Ps3 to msn to PS bleeding 3. But as his mother, of course, I know what's best. Plus, his older brother done the program years ago and it benefited him so immensely I cannot say. The program was available to us at a time when he was at an emotional low, and needed strong male role models and the cushion of love and support that the program mentors provide.

We are greeted warmly on arrival, offered something to eat and we take a seat. At 7.05  a gentleman greets and welcomes us collectively.We are shown a video of previous ORIGIN programs. This included the young men participating in debates, martial arts, jumping off cliffs somewhere off the English coast. Forest retreats, joggong through the city of Liverpool at dawn.Concentrating in a museum whilst viewing images of our ancestral past. All so that they can gain grounding, perspective, overcome fear, gain discipline, courage. It was wonderful. I think it was David that said they work from the standpoint of greatness which is in each boy, and journey with them until and beyond when they realise it for themselves in a healthy and constructive way. The facilitators befriend not become mates. They nurture. They live as examples of great, strong, black men which is so imperative in this age of gangsters, football stars and rappers as the most visible notion of notoriety and/or success.

At one stage we were invited to stand in a circle. "All of you," a well-suited, well-spoken gentleman said."Including the parents." Then another facilitator approached each group with a stack of paper and a marker. Pablo came to my group. He is the top man: The person I spoke to for almost an hour on the phone when I was researching programs for my first son all those years ago. When I met him in person and questioned still further all I saw was genuine, strength and commitment.He was always there for my son, who really went through some emotional upheaval when he was younger.  I remember having no one else to turn to, no great man to inject objectivity and balance into an argument or dispute we were having when he was toying with becoming a wayward teenager. When ORIGIN say they are there for our boys- even out of hours, they mean it. They were there.

       "If I asked you where you came from, what would you say?" We ponder a while. "You know those "ethnic minority" boxes they have on forms- what would you tick?" He wrote down our responses on individual sheets of paper.  "Now. What other names are used to label you?". 

      After that all the pieces of paper from each group was put in the centre and we are all asked to form a circle around them. A facilitators picks up the duplicates and we are left with dozens of A4 paper scattered on the floor which resemble an ariel view of tents pitched on sand. They all hold the variety of names that the African diaspora are labeled with by ourselves and others: Caribbean, African Caribbean, Black UK, Black British, Trinidadian, Jamaican, South American, Afro-Caribbean, Londoner, Black European- and the range of informal descriptions which I needn't describe.

We are then asked to go and stand on the label we most identify with. That done, the facilitators move from person to person and in the role of 'devils' advocate asked us to justify why we say we come from where ever. The suited one approached me. He looked at my sheet of A4 which said African Caribbean. 

"Where were you born?" he asked.

"Here". 

"So why doesn't it say UK?"

"Because I choose to acknowledge my parents and fore-parents." ( I have been asked this before)

"But what about your own identity?" He did have a point. But my spirit leans towards the Caribbean and more so to Africa. 

"What passport do you hold?"

"A red one."
"Have you ever been to Africa or the Caribbean?"

"Yes" 

"But what about where YOU were born?"

"All I know is the place where my soul felt the most at home it has ever felt is in Africa". (did I sound like a romantic idealist? I didn't care. I was on a roll) "If my fore-parents were left alone, there is little chance we would even be having this conversation. If we were speaking, it would be in our own native language and about other topics, not our identity, because we would be sure. So I choose to roll with where my spirit resonates". 

"So you're not gonna change your mind?"

"Nope". 

"Cool".  he said. And he moved on to the young girl next to me, who identified as such because her father was born in Africa and her mum in the Caribbean. 

I listened to someone challenge a young man who was stood on the A4 sheet of paper next to us which says Black UK.

"Black huh?"  

"Yep". 

"So where's the place Black then? If you're from black, shouldn't you be Blackish?" The boy looks a little unsure.The facilitators were giving us an example about how they will challenge our young men and have them articulate themselves from THEIR point of view- not how the media or anyone else dictates.

"If you are going to identify with a colour why not call yourself Caramel UK?"  I laugh from where I'm standing.

"Well, I'm black and I was born here, which is why I choose Black UK".

" Fair enough." The facilitator moves on. 

Across the room I notice  my own son identifies with the Caribbean. "Not English", he said,"because I'm black. But Caribbean because my grandparents were born there".  

"So you not going to change your mind?" 

"Nope." Some did though. Some moved from the hairstyle that is used to describe us, to the place they were actually born. From where they were born, to where their parents were born. Only one parent used the word English in her identity which I thought was unusual, but somewhat understandable.

 There were four members of the same family who identified as; English Guyanese, Caribbean, South American and African Caribbean; Which probably represents what happened all those hundreds of years ago- families split, taken to different parts of the globe to claim new identities, new cultures, new ways of being.

A question was posed: "You get on a tube at Brixton, change at Victoria and meet a friend at Oxford Circus. Friend asks; Where did you come from?"

I say Brixton. Which is the start of my journey. Hence Africa in my self identity. Victoria is when we got to the Caribbean and I guess I got off in the UK!!

      If I was asked the question again I would say the same thing, but I do acknowledge the UK as the place I have lived, breathed, laughed and loved for most of my life.

I'm looking forward to my second son embarking on his ORIGIN journey. He is going to get so much out of the experience. One of those ones where you enjoy the journey as well as the destination. I myself am looking forward to re-engaging with the organisation and my big son even wants to provide himself as a volunteer!! Lordy!! So what's my ORIGIN? Brixton, Victoria with a dash of Oxford Circus :-)     
 http://originhq.wordpress.com/2010/programme/contact_us/