10 Ways To...

Can I quickly say before this gets read- I know I have not posted for a while, most of my stuff has stayed in 'draft' mode, but I swear- it is not because I have been practising these techniques!!)

Ten Ways to Create a Delinquent
1. Be sure not to show your son or daughter any affection.This will leave them unable to do so in later life.

2. Remind them on a regular basis just how usless they are.

3. Pit siblings against each other. Always take the side of your 'other', your 'favourite' child. If there are no siblings available, cousins and other youngsters will suffice.

4  Isolate the other parent and when your child asks for him or her say in as mean a voice as possible,  "S/he is not interested in you." Then walk off.

5  Move house at least once every eighteen months, or as soon as you see your child starting to settle into any kind of routine or making friends.

6  Expose the child to gratuitous language, violence and sex as often as possible. The younger you start this the better.

7  Never, ever keep your word.

8  Purchase the cheapest shabbiest clothes possible. Make sure all trousers are ankle swingers and trainers made by Dunlop.  For this to work, however, everyone around them has to be smart. It won't work if all of their friends are shabby and wear Dunlop!)

9  Don't give your child a door key. They just have to wait outside until you get home. If you are working late or going out- Tough.

and lastly

10  Do not encourage your child in any shape or form. If you see they have a creative talent put them to work around the house. (Who needs creativity when there are chores?)

Good luck with that :-)