21/12/12

We made it. And I must say I am pleased.
I did plan to see the sunrise at 8.04. Perched on the edge of a damp bench, around the corner in Blackheath Park, taking in the first of the cosmic rays. As it was, I was totally oblivious to the sound of the alarm and opened my eyes when it was clearly too late.

I dragged on the same black leggings, eased into my torn grey boots and that grey jumper again and 9am saw me jogging down the back path, up the hill and then left towards the park.
I haven't looked at the sun so directly for ages. I tend to forget in my comings and goings. Today I am pleased to smile at the morning.  Smile at the possibilities ahead. I lean on the back of a bench facing east and, before the mayhem of Christmas and the work of promoting my book begins, appreciate the dawn of this day.

It has been well over a week since the initial excitement of the book. I recieved a couple more copies so was able to give one away and put one on the book shelf. That wave of excitement did come back to me, I have to say. When  I saw the spine of my book tucked there, neatly between I play the drums in a band called okay, by Toby Litt and Numerlogy, by Harish Johari.  Numerology makes me think of an old friend, Reggie. We used to have long conversations about life, spirituality, poetry. He bought a tiger's eye necklace from me once. When I said 'no' to a relationship with him he gave me such a harsh cursing. He was so mean.

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It's done diary. The book is here! I waited a few days before I submitted a post as it would of been a complete gush!! The book came on Friday 30th November, a date that will be imprinted in my brain.
I had already begun my weekly trek across London, when my son sent me a WhatsApp message.
"It's here mum," he said. "I'm sorry I opened it, but I knew what it was!" And a picture of my first book! I jumped up and down in Charing Cross Station and if I could, I would have turned back and gone home so I could see it now. For myself.
Instead I bought a flower covered journal from Funky Pigeon and a few minutes later sat on the tube and wrote thanks to Mother Father Universe, Jesus, the Divine ones. My ancestors, my parents, my sons and everyone who contributed to the book's creation.
I had begun to feel my molecules changing from several days ago. When AuthorHouse first informed me the book was on Amazon I skipped and jumped between my sons: Both of them, taller than me  looking down on their excited mum.